Slow Start
by GeneralUnrest
Summary: Gaius comes to Robin seeking some advice on a tricky subject. Usually Gaius takes things with a fairly relaxed attitude, but something about this problem-this person-leaves him uneasy... The path to forgiveness is never an easy one.
1. Chapter 1

Gaius was very familiar with messes-he was actually pretty good at making them-but the tactician's tent always seemed to be in a mess he didn't know how to deal with. A flurry of papers and books were strewn about and he had a good feeling the man usually slept in a small pocket of the tent left slightly less covered. How he got over to that point was probably the secret knowledge of the gods and Robin himself. Stepping into that territory made him a little more uneasy than he already felt. He'd sincerely hoped to find Robin tucked off in some part of camp he could drag him into some privacy to talk without alerting anyone.

Gaius didn't much like poking his nose into other people's tents as it was, at least not for his own damn hide anyway. He stalled at the "doorway" and shifted a bit in place when the other man never looked up from his work. Robin had his face buried in a book, pen in hand, a map set up under everything else with a page of notes off to the side and the pen tip resting right on it. It must have been a fairly serious session as the man actually had that long mess of dark hair pulled back out of his face.

Doubting thoughts dribbled their way into Gaius' mind as he couldn't find his usual casual greeting for Robin. Maybe it wouldn't hurt to turn around, never come back about this, carry on with life. All those things sounded nice and as he was just about to cave Robin looked up, clearly startled.

"Gaius...what're you doing just standing there...?"he asked flatly, once he got over the surprising figure in his doorway.

Gaius glanced over his shoulder and then made his way inside. No turning back now. "Hey Bubbles, see you got your nose in your ink again."

Robin's eyes crossed for a brief moment as he tried to look and see if any ink actually managed to make it that far, but it wasn't like he could really see. He rubbed it anyway, just to be sure. "You're serious...?"

"Yup."

Gaius gave the man a moment to fuss over it before saying anything else. "You got it, you're fine."

Eyes still on red-head, Robin very slowly set his pen down where it wouldn't make a mess and straightened up to give Gaius his full and proper attention. "So, did you need something then?" he asked in his usual, more business-like way.

Now that he was there and being asked, Gaius had no idea how to phrase his question. It felt like somebody just punched all of his language skills out from his gut. "Uh...well...I didn't _need_ anything exactly. I guess it's kinda more like a favor."

Robin raised an eyebrow. "A favor? What kind of favor?" he questioned right away with a very obvious skeptical tone to his voice.

"I don't need any thing! Like _stuff_. I'm not asking for money or anything. Let's just get that out first, okay?" Gaius blurted back. That flustering, annoying discomfort found its way back into his stomach and he couldn't say he invited it in there. It was the slow type of conversational poison; felt bad every so often and then really struck at the end and ruined everything. He would just have to strike first.

"It's a question. Like...a _hypothetical_ question. Questions about stuff that hasn't happened yet and guessing is kinda like your thing, right Bubbles?" He paused there when he got quite the look in return.

"It's not _just _guessing. It's using all the information I have, that I know and how well I know the people around me and their capabilities. It starts with strategies and moves into various tactics...I...You don't want a explanation of this do you?" Robin started and stopped himself, putting his elbow to the table and setting his head in his hand.

"Not really, nope. Hear me out though. So you're _really_ good at this strategical tactics business and all. I mean, I don't think big Blue's keeping you around just so he has another mouth to feed. Anyway, I was thinking, since you're pretty good at thinking _about_ thinking like that you can probably do thinking about all kinds of other junk," he attempted to explain, but the more he tried to explain it the harder it was to avoid the issue.

It didn't seem to click with the tactician either as the dirty look he was giving Gaius melted off into confusion. He narrowed his eyes worked out words like they were fighting his tongue. "Are you...asking for my help with something?"

The man was a genius. Gaius' face lit up into a smile, grinning even for a moment. The less explaining he had to do for himself the better. That was always true. "Yeah, exactly like that. I'm looking for just a little help from your noggin. You don't have to lift even _one_ pretty little finger."

Sometimes, he thought he couldn't open his mouth without becoming immediately suspicious as the look on Robin's face was pretty obvious. "You're not plotting some kind of big heist or something are you? I'm not going to help you steal anything."

"No stealing! I'm not taking anything. I mean, unless it's a good idea, but I don't think it's gonna be a good idea. I'm asking you for reasons that I don't want to go into."

The following silence came around in one of those uncomfortable clouds that hung around overhead and silently judged whoever caused it. At least he felt like it had to be with the way Robin didn't seem to be able to work that one out.

"You're acting..._different_, Gaius. Look, if you need to talk about something..." Robin began, but he didn't quite finish.

"No, I got it. I definitely got it. It's...advice. I just...wanna ask for a little advice on things, Bubbles. Okay? Worries gone?"

A slow smile cracked over Robin's lips. "If anything I'm worrying more. But I can still hear you out. Just ask me next time. I really don't mind."

It was Gaius' turn to give him an distrustful look. "And nobody is gonna hear about this later?"

"Not a soul. Being able to keep a secret is part of my job."

"Like _that_ thing." Gaius made a gesture at his arm and left it at that. Robin nodded and chuckled slightly.

"And not blackmailing over them."

"_Definitely_ not blackmailing."

Gaius gave him a smaller repeat of the same look and got a glare back.

"I'm not going to blackmail you for the last time. I won't over this either. You have my word," Robin insisted, turning his glare into more of a reassuring look.

That annoying feeling buzzed around his stomach again. It made him wish he hadn't eaten. Of course, out of all the things to run into again in this camp, _this _would be the thing to come up. When he finally got to forcing words out of his piehole they were less than smooth. "So Bubbles, you make someone pretty terribly mad..."

"Who do I make mad? What did I do?"

Gaius' palm slapped into his forehead. Maybe it was time to cut his losses and run. "I mean... _hypothetically _you make somebody pretty tart. Ruffle their feathers up bad. Like...maybe you plucked a couple of those feathers too?"

"Did you steal something from someone?"

"No! Nothing got stolen! Well yeah, it did, but that was a long time ago and we can't change the past, Bubbles. Can we focus on the question?" As soon as he started thinking about the specifics, Gaius started to pace across the short distance he had to pace inside the messy tent. This place felt a little smaller than it needed to be now.

"You made someone upset with you...and you want to ask me about making someone mad, but you won't tell me what happened to make them mad?" Robin worked out, his eyes following Gaius' pacing.

"_Hypothetically, _someone made someone else mad. I don't wanna drop any names here. It was like..." Gaius paused there, both in speech and the motion of his feet. Somewhere under that mess of cloak, his shoulders slumped. "Say I..._you_ did something you can't exactly take back. Something people don't normally give out free passes on. You did...a thing you can't change. Once you do that...there's no fixing that, is there?"

He could feel Robin's gaze fixed on him with that kind of intensity he usually reserved for the battlefield and working. Maybe he was reading him, but in that case, Gaius didn't really want to be read. He kept himself a bit turned away, eyes elsewhere. That might do for mind-reading repellant.

"Well," he began after a long pause, "If I ever did something that terrible...I think I would seek forgiveness once I realized it was a mistake."

"Forgiveness is a pretty tall request, isn't it?" he asked back more casually, glancing Robin's the way. That strong look had faded off into a more normal, thoughtful one and Gaius reacted pretty quick and put up a more natural stance as well.

"It could be, but that's probably the thing I would want. Although, in this case, it isn't really about the person who messed up. It's more about the person who was hurt by his actions, right?"

"Right. And doing something to balance that out. I guess that's kinda steep business too..."

Robin shook his head. "If the effort is honest, I think it's worth something. An attempt someone like that might do to try to fix things-whatever it might be-as long as they were in his own way and didn't really make the matter worse, it would open the door to starting to fix whatever the issue is. It might not ever happen, but to honestly try and put your all into it...it should at least be a start." He smiled more widely Gaius' way. "Forgiveness is a big request sometimes, but that doesn't mean there's no point in at least trying to make up for mistakes; whether forgiveness comes or not. That's what I think I would want anyway."

Gaius fell silent for a moment, letting those words soak in his head before speaking up again. "And if that person doesn't want to forgive you or even talk to you?"

"Do what you can from a distance you can. You can't really force your wishes on anyone; however, if you care about them and what you did, I'm sure you'll find a way to set things right."

"From a distance..." Gaius muttered as he digested that idea. Robin took his quiet for a signal to go on.

"Forgiveness comes from two sides. If one side won't budge then at least the other can do what they can to avoid letting the same mistake be made again. If this wronged person won't listen to you, Gai—to your _hypothetical _person, Gaius, then that person will just have to make sure it doesn't happen again," Robin carried on, stumbling over that a bit to correct his near-miss with his phrasing. "It's like you said, we can't change the past, but the future's open ahead of us, as long as we're making that effort to change it."

After everything Robin said, the answer seemed stupefyingly obvious. Here Gaius had been, beating himself over the head to come up with a proper idea, some kind of fancy words that might help somehow, but it was simple. Simple he could work with a lot easier. Burying himself in regret didn't do much to solve the problem or to lighten the weight on his chest. Maybe he hadn't done everything he could just yet, especially not now that the issue had some into the light again.

"If it's too late...?" Gaius asked quietly, his eyes on the floor as he was still mulling all this over.

Robin rested his head back in his hand and kept smiling. "That's not really a good excuse to not try at all, if you asked me."

Crossing his arms over his chest, Gaius gave Robin a bigger grin in return. "Well, I guess our man is just gonna have to give it a shot then."

"I guess he is. He might feel a little better to at least know he tried," Robin answered with a knowing tone. Gaius had a damn good feeling that the brainy one had already picked apart his words and figured out the situation at least a little bit. He didn't like that particularly, but even though he was the center of attention sometimes, Robin wasn't chatty about private stuff. For a man who couldn't remember his own private life, at least he guarded other peoples' fairly well. The thought helped drain away that fluttering feeling from earlier.

"He might. He's not good at much, but there's something..."

"And that is?"

Gaius grinned and gestured with his index finger over his lips. "That's secret, Bubbles," he said as he winked and turned for the doorway. He paused mid-step and turned around, riffling through his various pockets and hiding places until he turned out a hard candy. He set the candy on Robin's book and grinned just a bit wider. "There you go. You know, for keeping it to yourself."

Robin put on a look somewhere between amusement and being offended. "I really don't need a bribe."

"No, I insist. It's on me. Just _one_ though. I can't part with more than one."

It left him shaking his head, but Robin pocketed the candy and let the issue go. Sometimes there was no reasoning with the red-head. "Fine. You don't have to give me anything next time though. If you want to talk again."

"I'll remember that if I want to start a tab or something," Gaius snarked back, still grinning away. He made his turn for the door then, waving over his shoulder.

"There's no tab!" Robin groaned and let out a sigh. "Just...be careful out there."

"You got it, Bubbles. See ya'," Gaius called back and cut a path through the camp as casually as he could manage. Walking around with so many cluttered thoughts didn't suit him, but as he made it to the outskirts of the circle he found those thoughts were getting a little more organized. He didn't expect to run in, save the day and fix everything, but there was a safe distance he could work from. Nabbing something wouldn't put things right; however, he had at least _one_ more skill. He could keep the sharp part of his blade pointed the right way. Maybe it wasn't very much, but it was a place to start.

"She won't even see me if I'm watching her back," he decided there, looking out across the field. He played dumb sometimes, but it wasn't like he never saw the dirty look that person gave him the second she laid eyes on him. Even though it would take time and probably a lot of putting his tail in danger, this was something he could do.

Shouting and a figure riding over the distance caught Gaius' attention. "Risen! Just north of here, near town!" the scout yelled out, immediately sending the camp right into battle preparations. Chrom appeared on the scene so fast, Gaius could have sworn the man popped into existence at the first sign of trouble. The prince and the tactician teamed up fast to get orders out and the army moving north, the latter taking details from the scout and already making plans of attack. They were definitely an impressive team.

Gaius snapped back to his own position, knowing what he needed to do. He made himself scarce, but just as ready to go. Soon enough, he picked out the blonde saddling up her horse and preparing to ride out as well. Part of him itched to go say something so he convinced himself that was the stupid part talking. If the girl knew he intended to keep back and watch out for her safety, she would probably think he was a cretin. More than she already thought he was a cretin anyway. "Considering Twinkles, she'd easily say it to my face," he thought.

Something about the idea drudged up a bitter laugh out of him. That was how it had to be, at least for now. He had to start somewhere.


	2. Chapter 2 - Heavy Day

The grind of steel. A familiar heat. The mix of blood and sweat. Nothing particularly new.

A long time ago—or maybe it just felt like it was ancient news now—Gaius would have been one of the first ones to take off, to get off the front lines, but he threw himself into this for a lot of reasons. More than a sack of candy anyway, even though he was fine with Chrom or any of the others believing that was the case. Maybe the reason didn't matter at the moment. That cocktail of battle had come with new perils, ones that left him wide awake on some nights.

Close scrapes were part of the job, no doubt about that; however, outright protecting someone so actively wasn't exactly good for his health. It didn't come out of being poor with a sword; Gaius always knew which end to stick folks with. Throwing himself into harm's way did wonders for giving him all kinds of new battle scars. He did fine at his self-assigned duty, but he'd be lying if he said it wasn't at least a little bit scary. He didn't have all the big, lumbering, brute strength Chrom had and it left him with few options besides poking guys pretty hard and fast with the sharp part of a blade. Being too light for serious armor didn't always make for good friends with situations involving deterring a blade or arrows from across the way.

_Some protector I am. _

The thought struck him usually about the same time a sharp point did; funny how things lined up in such sensible ways. It was about when a Risen spear tore into his arm on this field that the nagging thought sprung back up in his mind. Somewhere between burning pain and "_Move_" the thought had some space in his mind. Just a short distance up ahead he barely caught the gaze of the blonde seated up on her steed. At that moment, he realized he must have shouted out from the hit. He had to be getting slopping.

That instant of thought passed fast as the more immediate problem faced him down. If he didn't move he was going to get himself completely cut down. He hopped back and lost some ground in his tangle with the soldier, but it also saved his head. The solider misjudged his distance and the spear thrust forth into the air and nothing but. That solid second the spear remained in place was all the time he was going to get.

Gauis rushed forward and half-tackled the enemy with his blade; finishing him off quickly and stepping back after. It had to have been luck, actually getting him in one swoop like that. His thoughts felt frazzled as he threw together what his position and status was. Thinking fast he could do usually. Not so much so when the wound in his arm was making itself very obvious. This was the good cloak too, now it probably had a good spattering of blood in it.

Scatterbrained thoughts buzzed around in his head for a few seconds; a mess of nonsense cluttering his mind working out something sensible. Twinkles. He needed to make sure she was still doing alright.

He swore under his breath. The blonde must have rode have in the middle of the scuffle. Something else caught her attention maybe. That was what he told himself anyway. In the blur of pain he worked out that he needed to find her. Or find someone anyway. The wound didn't make him much use on the battlefield, especially if he built up a good pool of blood around his feet. Footsteps fell one after another and Gaius let numb, little thoughts run through his head as he kept up a certain pace. He could hold himself to that much.

If he were pressed and he absolutely had to say something about it, Gaius summed up a lot of old stories as "stupid things he did in the past." Something about this started to look like another stupid thing to him. He'd done some stupid things for buddies before, or at least he would write them off like that. Thinking too hard about anything got people stress and gray hair, two things he never needed in particular. Categorize the thing as a mistake and move the hell on. And maybe not do whatever it was again. Just maybe.

_Don't get stabbed again. That'll help._

The thought didn't help much at the moment. He scanned the battlefield, peering over the plain that had mostly emptied out. They were on the tail end of this thing, everyone else must have moved ahead to finish it off. A short distance away stood a small fort, probably one fortifications that had already fallen, based on the lack of enemy soldiers milling around. Gaius pushed that direction with hopes that some of the other Shepards had stayed back there to hold that position.

Normally he would have approached with more care, but he rushed. It could have been from the scrape or that thoughts bumbling around in his skull like a bunch of wasted drunkards at the tavern. He didn't really know and didn't have time to work it out. He rounded in toward the gates and met with an arrow barely grazing his cheek as it shot by. His heart lept up out of his chest into this throat; the shock immobilizing him for a brief second. Everything tossed aside after that, Gaius sped at the shooter, a single archer holding the area for now. He had to be the only one; he couldn't really afford to take on anyone else.

More prepared than Gaius was, the archer notched another arrow and let it loose as Gaius charged. This one hit square into his upper thigh. The pain hit almost immediately after and a piece of his mind bolted off into panic. He knew he could force himself to finish this motion, but shouting from behind stopped it. If he got surrounded like this, there might not be any way out of it.

The footfalls from behind came close and passed by him in almost an instant, the attacker not laying a hand on him and instead falling on his enemy with a single, sure sweep of his blade. It wasn't until he turned around that Gaius realized who came to his rescue. Lon'qu straightened up and shot a glare worse than his usual scowl at Gaius.

"Were you looking to die today? You nearly did," he growled at him, looking a lot angrier than Gaius guessed he needed to be.

"I thought it was empty. My bad," Gaius answered flatly, not really finding the energy to argue it more than that. Lon'qu looked as though he had the energy for it, but Lissa jogged over from where she'd hidden by the gate and stood between the two of them.

"Fight later! Chrom's off taking on the leader, he needs our help," she insisted, meaning to push them both out of there; however, her eyes fell on the arrow in Gaius' leg. "Your leg! Hang on...I'll patch it up. Lon'qu, help."

"But I don't-"

"Do it!" she shouted before anymore fighting the issue could bubble up. She at least knew what she wanted to do. Lon'qu looked fairly uncomfortable with the three of them huddled around like this and Gaius had a pretty good feeling he was going to split any second.

"I can do it, Princess," Gauis mutters and reached out with his injured arm to grab the arrow and yank it out. It didn't really sink in that deep, but it hurt like hell. He probably should have just sheathed his sword and used that arm instead as the injured one didn't feel much better under that kind of strain. In the moment he pulled on the arrow, the original wound became exposed and Lissa let out another yelp.

"What do you think you're doing?! You're making it worse, a lot worse!" she blurted out at him in a mess, rushing to point her staff at his arm and focusing her healing there first. Lon'qu took that as a signal and a chance to step back, so he did.

A warm feeling sunk in and filled in around where it had been nothing but searing pain. It was a little startling at first; although, still a welcome sensation with what it was quickly replacing. Gaius didn't answer her at first; he assumed she wasn't really looking for an answer. In the middle of her work, she glanced up expectantly.

"I was looking for help," he explained as shortly as he could. Half-lies could fill in the holes as he needed.

"I thought you were closer to the formation on Maribelle's side. Why didn't you try to find her?" Lissa asked. The girl probably had no idea, but it felt like she stabbed right into the open wound.

"Lost sight of her when I got the sticking end of that spear."

Lissa grumbled something and kept healing, a sterner look of concentration on her face. Within a few moments Gaius was patched up well enough. It didn't take away the blood stains or some of the fatigue. Better bloody and fatigued than dead though. He stretched his arm out, curling his fingers into a fist and testing his strength with a short flex. It didn't feel that great, but he could manage.

A second later, he forced a smile Lissa's way. "Thanks for the fix, Princess. Sorry for holding you up and all that."

Lissa pointed the end of her staff at him accusingly, nearly knocking him on the nose with it. "You bet you're sorry, mister. You're gonna be extra sorry later, but right now helping my brother. Move it!"

There was some kind of threat veiled in there somewhere, but Lissa started jabbing him in the stomach with her staff before he could work out exactly how that would go down. He took the order and hurried out of the fort with Lissa and Lon'qu shortly behind. Lon'qu had something to grumble about—something that was best ignored, so Gaius did just that.

Over a hill a short way out Lissa called out and pointed to the now visible remaining troops. Just from a glance, Gaius felt the scuffle was over. No clamor, no battle-cries or anyone striking steel to steel. Things had calmed down; the commander must have fallen. As if sensing the question, one of the mounted Shepards approached at a gallop. Stahl held the reigns, which he pulled to stop the horse once he came in close. There sat a slight smile on his face; he looked relieved.

"The fight's over. Are you all okay?" Stahl asked with the concern clear in his tone.

Lissa looked between the three of them and finally answered for everyone. "We're okay. Is everyone else too?"

Stahl nodded, but then shook his head. "As far as I know anyway. I was going to ride through and check on everyone. Did you want to come along?" he offered kindly, his hand held out her way.

The princess thought it over for a moment before taking his hand. She realized pretty quickly she couldn't jump that high so she shot Lon'qu a look. The swordsman paled and waved a hand dismissively. That look turned on Gaius so fast it felt like a slap to the face. He really didn't feel up to it, but he still strode over to the horse and webbed his fingers together to give the girl a boost up. She stepped into his hands and with Stahl's pull sat up side-saddle next to him.

Sitting up higher now, Lissa looked down on the both of them with a stern face. "Both of you stay out of trouble, help get things into order," she said in a pushier way. There was a pause and Gaius thought for that brief moment he was off the hook, but she spoke up again. "I'm not going to forget either, Gaius. Later!" She tapped Stahl on the shoulder and the pair rode off.

Gaius swore under his breath and sheathed his blade. Lon'qu copied the motion, but remained silent for a bit longer. His eyes followed Lissa and Stahl taking off until they were out of sight. He clearly had words on the edge of his tongue, but he wasn't saying them. Gaius pretty quickly felt some pressure. He couldn't say he knew Lon'qu very well; even still, the man gave off every bit the aura of a warrior. A strong man who knew what he was doing until a lady showed up is how Gaius would have put it until that moment. It wasn't that he didn't like him, more that he felt it might be smart to steer clear of him for a bit.

Gaius took a single step toward base and that must have been a signal for Lon'qu because he finally spoke up. "Your swordsmanship...it's sloppy."

"Well Tough Stuff, not all of us can be Mr. Super Swordsman. Believe me. What I don't got in blade skills, I got in just about everything else you could imagine," Gaius snarked back, passing the man a grin over his shoulder.

Lon'qu's eyes narrowed. "You're aware then. So why run out into the frontlines like you do?" he asked firmly and to the point. Subtly was not one of his skills apparently.

"I'm not all that hot on having a heart to heart about the merits of saving Ylisse and all that crap," Gaius replied a bit slower. The last thing he needed was a lecture from this guy too.

Lon'qu shook his head, frowning deeper. Damn, that man could scowl. "You know your swordsmanship is lacking, but you're running out there half-cocked. You should be training."

"Yeah yeah, I'll start showing up to Frederick's Hell on Earth Sessions or something, okay? You pointing out my flab isn't all that great on my self-esteem, Tough Stuff."

It was then that Lon'qu stepped right in front of Gaius, getting up in his face. He seemed a hell of a lot taller when he projected all that aura right on top of him. It took every fiber of will Gaius had not to step back. He really, _really_ wanted to step back.

"Listen, clown. You're joking about life and death here, considering you're almost getting yourself killed all the time now."

"You noticed? You really don't have to look out for me."

"It saved you this time, didn't it?"

It was hard to argue with that, considering it was the truth. He took this second to calm down, letting out a deep breath. "You should be keeping an eye on the Princess. I'm gonna be just fine. A little brushing up swordplay first, I get it."

Lon'qu's look worsened for a split second and in that moment, he stepped back into a stance. Gaius reacted as fast as he could, jumping back out of reach. The move was the right one as Lon'qu drew his blade and pointed the tip at Gaius' face. "I don't think you get it at all. You're talking big, but you don't have any idea what you're getting yourself into."

Gaius grinned even though he felt his breath quickening. He did not mean to pick a fight, especially not with this guy. "Maybe I don't. But I'm not stealing your glory fighting a little more. I'll stay out of your hair," he attempted, his hand on his blade, but not drawing just yet. Even the thought of defending himself against this guy left a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach.

The swordsman shook his head. "You misunderstand me. Draw your blade."

That sounded a lot more like an order and less like a friendly request. Gaius took another step back, the grip on the hilt of his sword a little tighter. "You're the one suddenly pointing that at me. I think you missed something here..." He didn't get to add anything else on that; Lon'qu moved fast, taking a small swipe at him. The blade buzzed by his nose, but didn't hit. Gaius drew his sword as he hopped back a short pace, just enough to give him a little distance to recover from. "You seriously...You're really gonna do this? Here? Now?"

The comment went right over Lon'qu's head as he stepped in for another swing of his blade, this one a little fuller. Gaius ducked low out of the way and rolled to the side to get back up on his feet. "You could try just saying what you want to say," he grumbled out, but that was met with another swing of steel at his face. Another duck back saved his skin for the moment. This dragging on didn't seem like a very sound plan, considering he was already worn out from the injuries prior.

His fingers gripped around his blade properly, flipping it into the right position for him to strike with. Boots remained planted for a split second longer before Gaius shot forward, attempting to swing the blade downward at Lon'qu's shoulder. The swordsman caught the blade on his own, holding them in place with a push Gaius' way. Gaius pushed back, doing his best to hold his ground.

"You want to give talking it out another shot yet?" Gaius got out between the struggle, finding himself losing his footing. He should have backed off at that first sign as Lon'qu threw his weight into his blade and threw Gaius' grip off entirely, leaving him stumbling back. He caught himself before it was too late, positioning his blade overhead to meet Lon'qu's steel crashing down on him.

His arms struggled to hold off the weight Lon'qu pressed down on him, his own blade grinding ever close to his face. It didn't take long to get too close, so much so Gaius seriously started to consider Lon'qu had every intention of making him a head shorter right then. Realizing his position, Gaius summoned up all the strength he had to push back all in one big burst; the suddenness of it all freeing up Lon'qu's pressure long enough for him to duck out and escape to a safer distance. Lon'qu lowered his blade, eyes narrowing and fixed on Gaius'. That guy was intimidating in just about every way possible.

"You need training," he said flatly.

"Yeah? I kinda got that the first time," Gaius answered once he caught a little breath back.

"I'm going to train you then." Lon'qu paused there to do something like smile, but it was terribly threatening for a smile. "You're making the rest of us look bad."

Gaius stood there, staring back at him with what was sure to be a confused expression. It seemed like a pretty spur of the moment decision. It wasn't as though they had never spoken, but Lon'qu didn't seem especially fond of him, not after all that anyway. He felt like he was talking around a bunch of pudding. "And if I refuse to train with you...?"

"You might get training when you're not expecting it again," was Lon'qu's answer, no change in his tone. That definitely had a threat in it.

"I don't get a choice then..."

"Not if you're going to take a spot on the front lines with the rest of us."

He couldn't work out it. Lon'qu kept an eye on him and almost right after tried to cut him down. Maybe it was some kind of weird swordsman ideal thing, but Gaius couldn't quite wrap his head around it. He had a feeling he was going to have to whether he liked it or not. "Fine, fine. 'Shape up, Gaius.' I hear you. Crivens, you're a downer when you show up."

"Except when I'm saving your life."

"Except then, I guess." It took a moment, but Gaius cracked a grin Lon'qu's way. "Tell me when and where later. I'm gonna sleep the rest of this off."

Lon'qu nodded in reply, turning to go about his business and carry on probably. Gaius couldn't say he cared what the man did at this point, as long as it wasn't pointing swords at him anymore. The red-head turned for camp, not really wanting to hang around and get anything else added to his plate. Questions he could ask later, maybe to someone who actually answered...

Robin set down his tea between a pair of precarious book piles. He had that look in his eye like he was mulling Gaius' story over so Gaius left him be.

"Lon'qu is a pretty good training partner. He's very...straightforward about swordsmanship. If you think you need to work on it too, then you should probably just take him up on it," Robin explained easily, leaning back in his seat.

"He sounds like he's gonna jump out and attack me in my sleep. You're not going to comment on that part at all?" Gaius asked back, honestly surprised.

Robin only laughed at first. "You could beat him if you took him on any other way, Gaius. I think he'd want to fight you in a proper fight, where he's particularly skilled. I don't think you have to worry too much about surprises. But...I think you should take his help. He's pretty astute about these kinds of things."

Gaius rolled his eyes. "Astute or nosy..."

"You have been getting yourself into more trouble than I seem to recall you getting into earlier on. I could see that and Lissa said something about it too. Cordelia was grumbling something about you setting a new record for blood stained clothes and you needing to wash-"

"Okay, okay. I got it, Bubbles. So it's everybody's business now. Great," Gaius interrupted so as to avoid the rest of that. "It's something I want to do, so I'm doing this. It's the best way I can think of..."

Robin fell quiet momentarily, his eyes narrowing and watching Gaius' form standing still in his tent carefully. Gaius didn't try to avoid being read this time; it wasn't much use with this guy.

"If this is something you care about Gaius, shouldn't you want to do it to the best of your abilities? I think you could take those a bit further with some more training," Robin suggested evenly.

Gaius took his turn to go silent, staring at the ground for a long awhile before raising his head again. "I need to do this better...You're probably right." He let out a long sigh. "I guess it's training time for me then."

"After you're rested up properly. Your injuries are alright?" Robin wasted no time in asking.

"Yeah, patched up just fine. I won't push anything I shouldn't though. How about that?"

Robin smiled widely at that, looking relieved. "You beat me to saying it. That'd be for the best."

Gaius smiled back, feeling a bit relieved himself. Something about talking with the company tactician really seemed to help with all this mess. There were a lot of new experiences all around. He probably owed him one by now. "I'll do that. You go ahead and keep yourself outta trouble," he said, waving and heading for the way out.

"That goes double for you, Gaius."

He chuckled and kept waving , letting himself out and looking the camp over. Things couldn't be put off for very long. They didn't always know when the next fight would be. Lon'qu left him short one set of "when" and "where." He would just have to find him and get it squared away.

Before he could start to hunt the man down, a familiar blonde stood between him and his first few steps. Parasol gripped tightly in her hands, she shot him a glare.

"What do you think you've been doing lately, hovering around me like a persistent fly?" Maribelle snapped at him.

It felt like he was sinking.


	3. Chapter 3 - Spare Me

"Enough!" Maribelle forced out, almost through her teeth. "If I want a dog and pony show I shall attend a carnival!"

Gaius had no idea a conversation could turn so sour so fast. Everything Maribelle had thrown at him in the last minute gave him a feeling like his boots were being pulled down into the earth. Standing up at least somewhat straight became his momentary goal as his lips struggled to form the words he needed.

"No tricks here, Twinkles," he began carefully. "I speak from the heart on this one." Being convincing was not his best skill and here he felt it was weaker than he needed. Just by the look in Maribelle's eyes he could tell she wasn't hearing him out entirely. Information was making it, but whether she wanted to hear it or not was up for debate.

There was no other way to put things though. He'd been almost completely honest with her. He couldn't explain himself; there was just no way she wanted to hear that based on the look on her face. The story was a long one, an unpleasant one that he had wanted to leave behind all this time. He was willing to tell it for her sake, but he didn't see that happening. He tried to use the words he knew for this. "Atonement" and saying he felt bad about it didn't stack up if Maribelle's continued glare was anything to go on.

It was hard to keep that easy-going, casual nature in place when this kind of pressure was bearing down on him. Maybe it wouldn't work, maybe it was hopeless.

When Maribelle replied, that pressure swelled down harder on Gaius. "The blackened heart of a brigand is hardly worth listening to!"

Just as suddenly as she had approached Gaius, Maribelle turned and left him. There was an indignant huff out of her as she turned her heel and stormed off the other way. Gaius' gaze followed her until she ducked around a tent. He wasn't quite sure if he could move yet. Other soldiers gave him looks until he got his feet shuffling, carrying him off to the far end of camp.

He was supposed to talk to Lon'qu. He was supposed to work out training and getting stronger. He was supposed to have done a lot of things, but he couldn't see himself carrying them out. Not right then. No, instead Gaius took a mindless lead anywhere but around other people.

He knew to expect something unpleasant; unpleasant surprises were not a new phenomenon for him. There was something heavier here though. Putting words to it felt like the sort of work he didn't want to do at the moment, so he leaves it at that. His path doesn't lead him too far, but he wasn't willing to put too much distance between himself and the Shepherds. Silently, he finds a good spot aside a tree and drops down into a sit leaning against it.

Instinctively he wanted some space to try and think everything through, but now that it was quiet and he was alone he wasn't quite sure what to do with himself. Hands fumbling, he reached into one of his inner pockets and picked out a candy. With the sweet popped in his mouth, he let out a sigh past it.

_That didn't last very long. _

It rang out in a disheartening tone through his head a few times. As much as he didn't want to assign that word to it, that was the feeling. Gaius let the feeling run its course for a few minutes, figuring it would come and go like most things. For that short time the breeze lazily flew over the open field, down into the slope of the hill a short distance ahead. Everything was in motion and Gaius remained still. Calm and a sense of ease was born out of that quiet, natural state. Things slowed down and with it Gaius found his thoughts a little easier to set straight.

Of course Maribelle would resent him for all this time. After what he had brought down on her father there probably was no forgiving that; Gaius knew that. He knew it from the start. It takes some forcing, but he gets his mind on the track of where to move, not on what he couldn't change. So the blue blood hated him, it didn't change what he needed to do. Even if it were only a little, he needed keep her from harm. Everything he might try would be too little either way. Trying was the best he had.

Soon enough, the candy in his mouth dissolved away, leaving a solid, sweet taste in his mouth. He lingered on the sensation, enjoying it while it lasted. That at least would always be undoubtedly good.

He'd nearly talked himself into getting up and finding something more productive to do when he heard footsteps from behind him. Glancing over his shoulder, he saw a familiar face.

"There you are!" the blonde called, giving him quite the huffy glare.

"Hey, Princess. You looking for something to do 'cuz that's definitely not here," Gaius answered as smoothly as he could get out. His voice felt a little stuck for the first few words, but once he carried on it seemed more normal again.

Lissa only gave him a harsher look and sat herself down next to him, finding a way to pout through the whole process. She definitely had a talent for that. "I said I was gonna talk to you about things so I'm here to really give it to you, buddy! Don't think you got out of trouble."

He faked a crooked smile, keeping his gaze fixed on the horizon. "Whatever you say, Princess."

That nonchalance only seemed to put the princess in a worse mood. "I'm only trying to help you. And I heard a lot from Lon'qu so don't think I don't know!"

"That you don't know what?" There wasn't much to learn from Lon'qu. Except he was kind of an ass about training, but a handful of the Shepherds were like that.

"That you're _supposed_ to be training with him. If he finds you here, he's going to be really upset," Lissa insisted, her tone more concerned than anything.

Gaius couldn't help himself or stop the little laugh after that. "That guy is always upset. I don't think he ever even smiles. There's no big change there."

Lissa prodded her index finger into Gaius' shoulder. "It's definitely a big change that I can tell. He sort of smiles and talks more when he's in a good mood. But he's been in a bad one ever since you two got in your little fight."

"Oooh, so Princess knows him best, huh? Maybe you can sweet-talk him into getting off my back."

"Gaius! He's trying to help you. At least, I think that's what he means. If you're trying to get stronger, Lon'qu is the person to talk to and he's offering. If you really wanted to be stronger you would just do it. And _not _waste time saying really silly things to me," Lissa retorted, poking him a few more times in the process. He tried to lean away from it, but she refused to relent.

He wanted to argue that it did really seem like Lissa knew the guy better than anyone else even if it wasn't really the time. The temptation shoved away, he nods slightly. "Something came up...But I'll talk to him. I just gotta do it at my pace."

"Your pace is by tomorrow, right?" Lissa pressed. The look that came with that guaranteed there were no correct answers except "yes."

"Yeah...by tomorrow. I have to at least try and do this a little bit...Just a little stronger..." he muttered in reply, his focus drifting out partway through.

The princess tilted her head, appearing honestly intrigued yet concerned. "Who are you getting stronger for?"

The directness of the question threw Gaius off a little, his shoulders tensing up as he tried to find the words. ""I didn't say anything about a 'who.'"

"But usually, people try to get stronger for someone else, don't they? I want to be stronger for my brother and sisters' sakes, but everyone around me too. And I know Chrom is strong for everyone else, no matter what happens. So there's someone worth being strong for, isn't there?" she asked once more, her gaze fixed on Gaius' face, even when he would not look her way.

"Yeah...Yeah, I guess that's what it is then." He went quiet for the moment, thinking about what to do say to cut the conversation off, but instead a question left his lips. "If someone hated your guts, Princess, would you even bother with that?"

"With being stronger for them? I think so. I think...I would try even harder. You can't just give up after all. If someone really hated me that much, I think I'd want to understand why better and make them not. I'm sure there's a way we can all get along better if we really try," Lissa insisted without much time spent on deliberating. The answer was natural and spunky; Gaius found himself a little jealous of all that energy for once.

"If you wanted to win someone over to your side, I'm sure you'd chase them to the ends of the earth over it and get it eventually...But you're more likeable than I am Princess. Most folks aren't that happy to see me sneaking around," he answered with a small laugh, find himself smiling as he did.

"No way! I'm just trouble for everyone. But I think a lot of people like you, Gauis. You're a great help around camp...even if you're a big pain sometimes."

He finally turned his eyes on her and was met with a that pout again, but it soon melted away into a little knowing smile. "Maybe we're both big pains then, huh?"

"Yeah, but you're definitely the bigger one!"

Try as they might, neither of them could help chuckling a bit. Once he'd stopped though, Gaius shook his head. "Guess I'm gonna have to find a way to be less of a pain than you."

"Not if I get to be less faster then you. It's a race, okay? So you better be working seriously hard. I'm gonna watch out for you, just to be sure," the princess answered with a very decided look over her face and that same determination in her voice.

"I'll keep an eye out for you too. Don't think I wanna lose this one," he replied, crooked smile set as he did. There was something relaxing in a goofy conversation like this, but Lissa had that affect on people. Whatever worries he had seemed a little more distant. The light didn't have to be at the end of the tunnel if there were still things to enjoy in the moment. Getting all doom and gloom wasn't really his style anyway.

Lissa grinned at him and wagged her finger. "If you don't want to lose then what are you going to do first?"

There really was no avoiding this one, no matter how hard he might try to dodge. "I get it, I get it. I'll go find that big, dumb ox, okay?"

"If you're talking about me, you don't have to look very hard." A shuffling from around the tree caught his attention and when both Gaius and Lissa glanced around, there was Lon'qu, relaxed with his back against the bark.

"How long have you been there? How much did you hear?!" Lissa blurted at him, her cheeks a bit red.

"I heard enough. You have something to say, right?" Lon'qu addressed Gaius' way, his speech and gaze always frustratingly direct as always.

Gaius let out a sigh, his shoulders slumping. "I give up. I'll do this training thing with you. Whatever schedule works for you, just tell me when and where."

A smile lit up on Lissa's face and whatever her worries were before, they seemed to disappear with it. It looked like she wanted to interrupt them and was holding back too. For a second, Gaius could have sworn he saw Lon'qu smile as well. It would have been a tiny thing, if that was what it really was. There was no understanding this guy.

"Then I'll see you bright and early tomorrow...right about here," Lon'qu decided, a bit of smugness in his voice. He must have known he was going to win this all along.

Lissa popped up off the ground and stood at Lon'qu's side, a big grin on her face. "Perfect! You two all made up then?"

"We're making up?" Lon'qu asked, his eyes narrowing slightly.

"Yes, you're friends and you were fighting earlier. If you're agreeing to work together, I think you're making up, right?" Lissa looked Gaius' way for approval.

"Uh...yeah. Best of friends," was his fastest reply. It probably didn't sound as convinced as Lissa wanted it to be.

"Nuh uh, not good enough." She grabbed onto Gaius' arm and yanked on him until he stumbled up to his feet. With her free hand, Lissa latched onto Lon'qu's wrist and forced the two men's hands to meet. Lon'qu sputtered something incomprehensible when she grabbed him, but she soon let go and all that was left were Gaius and Lon'qu shaking hands without actually agreeing to the gesture in the first place. However they were already there and it wasn't a bad idea. Gaius shook properly and Lon'qu did the same.

Her hands on her hips in a triumphant, Lissa grinned her hardest. "Much, much better! Now you two look ready to work together."

"About as ready as I'll ever be," Gaius muttered, but chuckled a little too.

Lon'qu removed his hand and crossed his arms. "You had better be more prepared in the morning. I won't go easy on you."

"You could go a little easy on him the first time," Lissa suggested.

Lon'qu's expression soured momentarily, but he did eventually nod. "Just once."

Lissa shot Gaius a not so hidden thumbs up. She meant well at least. The princess took a stop standing next to Lon'qu looking ready for an answer.

Gaius just shrugged at first. "We're settled then. Tomorrow morning...I think I'm gonna rest up in the meantime."

"That would be for the best," the swordsman replied simply.

"See you later then, Gaius. Maybe at dinnertime?" the princess asked as well, looking hopeful.

"Maybe around then," he half-confirmed, starting off for camp again. The other two seemed content to remain behind; maybe they had something of their own to talk about. For now, he was content to take his leave and think on the moment.

For whatever his failings were earlier in the day, at the very least it seemed like there were people he could still count on. Whatever strength he might pick up, maybe it wouldn't hurt to use it for more than just one person. For Twinkles sake he had to do something, but if redemption ever came to pass, would she be willing to have conversations like he'd just had. It wasn't part of the deal; he was sure of that. At best, his existence might become acceptable.

The thought was unpleasant, but even then there were still friends he could turn to at the end of the day.

_I can do this. _


End file.
